They will be feeling intense fear and grief.
And most of the time we show our grief and fear in ANGER. So Nellie and Marin might be very angry.
They might lash out.
They might act like "perfect" children.
They might cry when they smell a smell that reminds them of their hurt or their people in Bulgaria.
They might bite their hand.
They might rock themselves for comfort.
They might plop into anyone's lap for soothing.
They might tell us daily that they hate us in their actions and words.
They might throw things.
They might have fits in the middle of the grocery store for seemingly no reason.
They might demand things to fill the hole inside.
They might fight with their siblings.
They might look out of control.
All of this is FEAR and GRIEF. And it is our responsibility to NOT TAKE IT PERSONALLY and WORK ON OURSELVES.
We are the ones that are mostly responsible for the "attaching" that needs to be done. And that is done by dying to ourSELVES and allowing God to fill us with LOVE.
Because the antidote to grief is LOVE.
LOVE that is unconditional. LOVED because they just are. LOVE that heals their hearts and gives them a safe space to feel ALL their feelings.
We will have boundaries and limits but our focus will be ON THE RELATIONSHIP.
We ask that those of you who love our family (and live close) please DO NOT pick up Nellie and Marin (they must learn that Mama and Papa are for comfort and what "Mama" and "Papa" really mean).
We ask that you DO NOT take their behavior (or ours :) ) personally. We might have to do some seemingly strange things to help our children heal.
We ask that you support us while we FOCUS ON THE RELATIONSHIP.
And please pray extra for us when we screw up. :)
All of you that thought we were "messing up" our family by adoption please open your hearts.
We have NO DOUBTS that their hearts (and ours!) can be healed.
We can't wait for the work to get started!
|Our church is so pretty.|